I recorded this on my phone, in one take, because I did not want to polish it. If you would rather watch than read, here is the full thing.
Struggling with growth
I have been struggling in the past year with my brand and the business, and how to grow. Because to be honest, the growth was more for the sake of the challenge than really, like, I wanted to grow.
The thing I realized was, first of all, I was having a problem accepting that I was trying to live with the idea and do what I had to do to grow. Which was doing the things that would get me more engagement, more attention, but that had nothing to do with real value. Nothing.
And the more I had to face this, the more I would get frustrated, sad, and going into this loop again. I am not enough. I am not good for this. I do not want to do this.
Two versions of me
And then in reality, I got to this level of realizing that on this side, I have been this influencer that will get a lot of engagement, a lot of views, a lot of attention.
On the other side, there is this smaller version of me. A content creator. Someone who is sharing deeper thoughts and conversations and analysis with the people who are willing to accept it.
But this one will never make me go viral. This one will never make me look at someone famous, or whatever. And to be honest, that was kind of a struggle.
What actually has value
But then I also reminded myself, once again, that in human society, the things that had more value, the things that deserved attention, got attention. Never.
So with that thought, I was like, yeah, this makes sense. If I go to this side where I will have more attention and more light on me and I will be this famous version of me, I am actually going to be in the portion where we are all fighting for attention. And of course, we are going to be able to monetize with that. At the end, everybody is going to get more money.
But in the core, what I am actually doing with this, does it make any sense to me?
Where society is lacking
I guess, once again, that is the part where our society is lacking today. And when I say our society, I am included. Because we are giving up on the requirement to think. To hard-think about stuff. Because a lot of people just have this desire of having more money or more attention, and they will not go into the understanding of it.
That requires a lot of thinking and a lot of time, a lot of confusion days. And that will make us feel depressed and feel down and feel disconnected from the outside world.
Out of the loop is the loop
I can say from my side, every day that I would open my Twitter and see people with high engagement posting those trends or posting exactly the type of content that would get higher engagement, I was feeling out of the loop. I was feeling out of the process. I was feeling that what I was doing was putting me down, making me late for things.
But actually, in reality, all of these deep thoughts and all of this confusion, they are all part of this process of going forward and learning and getting some wisdom out of this understanding.
I just hope we could remind ourselves of this a lot more. Because we are just so deep in all of the noise we have, in all of the attention grab out there.